Friday, January 30, 2009

Sun Breaks The Sky

I have these thoughts, all the time. And, I'm afraid, that if I do not write them down. They will be forgotten.

I was watching a movie, about these two girls, who became room-mates, then became best friends. I am at a time in my life, in which, I want
to be free. I want to escape this suburb and run away to a huge city. I want to wake up at dawn, in my small aprtment, and see the sun rise and break the sky and city in half. I am planning on moving when I am about 18, when I go to Film College. I will most probably go to New York, or Boston. And then, move on to London, or Tokyo!! ((I wish...))

So after watching this movie, I thought, "Wouldn't it be so awesome if my best friend and I moved in together when I get to New York. We could both get jobs and split the rent" it sounded amazing, untill I realized, I can't be pinned down somewhere. i love all my friends and family, but unless I am alone, then I can't go anywhere I wanna go, and whenever I wanna go. What if I have a room-mate, but after about 6 months, i decide that I hate the house and new York and I wanna go to Chicago?! What would my room-mate do? If I do have a room-mate, we'll both have to anticipate us moving apart maybe right after college.

Thats just who I am. I'm hard to deal with. And, I'm the type who needs to explore, who doesnt mind living in a cheap apartment in New york, as long as i have the city lights at night.

Who ever I fall in love with, or marry, will ahve to love me enough to put up with this. They'll have to put up with hearing "Lets move to London instead!!" or Tokyo, or Cairo, or...even Austrailia!

I discovered, that i am a rebel who just wants to run wild and free. Thats why, not alot of people will want to be my room-mate. And not alot of people will want to spend the rest of their lives with me after getting to know me a bit. I always thought, that I'd fall passionately in love, like all the movies, then move to a cute little house and have 2 maybe 3 kids. But I now know that theres so much more to me than that. my life, isn't gonna turn out like how most little girls anticipate. but I'll wait. I'll wait for someone who doesn't mind having a wild little girl forever.

I will move to a city where the sun breaks the sky. I will go to Film College. I will Have an awesome room-mate ((My Best Friend *bacon and eggs*)) even, if only for a few years. And I will find someone who will put up with me.

I love figuring so many things out about myself...



Lonely Heart said...

Omg living in different cities around the world would be amazing, but rough all at the same time.

I can't see myself living with anyone either. Honestly, you really figure out who a person is when you live with them. And most of the time, you probably wont like what you find out about your roommate. But then again things could work out. Although, if you plan on moving a lot and spontaneously, then you might want to try finding someone who's willing to do that or living alone like you said.

Sprinkle said...

I will be your roommate dear. Oh wow we sound so identical. I feel all the same things you do, to the very metaphors. I want to travel. I don't care if I live in a cardboard box, as long as I look outside and see the flickering lights of thousands awake... As long as I can throw my things into a suitcase, catch a train and a taxi and head to my next destination... Do you have an Aim or MSN? I think we should definately pursue this friendship, so we can share our wishes of big cities and constant moving.

I reallllly want you to write something for the zine. Do you think you could do that? You obviously have the amazing desire to live in a big city that is what Starlight Fascination is going to be all about... I can use this blog entry, or parts of it. Or you could just write however much you want about this dream, this passion to be a part of something so amazing like a big city?

Thanks for being my soul-friend. The fairies of fate must have put us together, so funny that we both had this same desire and posted about it so close together...

Anonymous said...

Ohh I love this city I'm in ((come back soon!))
but as much as I love cities, I don't want to stay in one place for too long. Even as a child, the whole home with a white picket fence seemed a bit...dull. I'd love to do that but, not for life. I'd love to have children but, that doesn't mean I want to settle down forever!

I can see myself as someone's roommate, but I can see myself leaving that life soon and traveling somewhere else. Somewhere new.
You remember, that anime, called Tales of Earthsea? With the farmer lady, I could see myself staying there for a while too, playing at being a milk maiden.
I can't stay in just a city, I'd want the world to be my home.
I'm not just a city lover I guess.
I'm a world lover. =P =P =D

Anonymous said...

Oh Lenore, your comment!
Thank you so much, it means so much to me.
<3 =) =)