Friday, January 30, 2009

Sun Breaks The Sky

I have these thoughts, all the time. And, I'm afraid, that if I do not write them down. They will be forgotten.

I was watching a movie, about these two girls, who became room-mates, then became best friends. I am at a time in my life, in which, I want
to be free. I want to escape this suburb and run away to a huge city. I want to wake up at dawn, in my small aprtment, and see the sun rise and break the sky and city in half. I am planning on moving when I am about 18, when I go to Film College. I will most probably go to New York, or Boston. And then, move on to London, or Tokyo!! ((I wish...))

So after watching this movie, I thought, "Wouldn't it be so awesome if my best friend and I moved in together when I get to New York. We could both get jobs and split the rent" it sounded amazing, untill I realized, I can't be pinned down somewhere. i love all my friends and family, but unless I am alone, then I can't go anywhere I wanna go, and whenever I wanna go. What if I have a room-mate, but after about 6 months, i decide that I hate the house and new York and I wanna go to Chicago?! What would my room-mate do? If I do have a room-mate, we'll both have to anticipate us moving apart maybe right after college.

Thats just who I am. I'm hard to deal with. And, I'm the type who needs to explore, who doesnt mind living in a cheap apartment in New york, as long as i have the city lights at night.

Who ever I fall in love with, or marry, will ahve to love me enough to put up with this. They'll have to put up with hearing "Lets move to London instead!!" or Tokyo, or Cairo, or...even Austrailia!

I discovered, that i am a rebel who just wants to run wild and free. Thats why, not alot of people will want to be my room-mate. And not alot of people will want to spend the rest of their lives with me after getting to know me a bit. I always thought, that I'd fall passionately in love, like all the movies, then move to a cute little house and have 2 maybe 3 kids. But I now know that theres so much more to me than that. my life, isn't gonna turn out like how most little girls anticipate. but I'll wait. I'll wait for someone who doesn't mind having a wild little girl forever.

I will move to a city where the sun breaks the sky. I will go to Film College. I will Have an awesome room-mate ((My Best Friend *bacon and eggs*)) even, if only for a few years. And I will find someone who will put up with me.

I love figuring so many things out about myself...


Monday, January 19, 2009

Happy birthday!!

Happy birthday to some very special people!!!

today, the 19 of january, is the birthday of 4 people that I love dearly!!

1.My lovely friend- Abbi!! Thank you, for being such a great friend and Jpanese/Anime buddy!!

2. My dearest Sam. You are such a sweet girl and I hope you had a great birthday!

3. Mr. Edgar Allan Poe. 200 years old So many years your genius has been a joy to all of us. You are Amazing!

4. Utada Hikaru (Hikki) The most amazing singer alive. Your songs have been such an inspiration to me. and, you are so sweet, and you have such a beautidul and poetic mind. I hope that you stay this beautiful woman forever. Happy 26th! Thank You. (Totsuzen no Hikari no naka me ga sameru. Mayonakani)

I hope there is nothing but the best in the year ahead!!!

My Birthday is very, very, soon. Febuary 8. :) Im already deciding on my next Lolita dress!!


Sunday, January 18, 2009

Think Of Me

If you wait for meThen I'll come for you. Although I've travelled far, I always hold a place for youIn my heart. If you think of me, If you miss me once in a while, Then I'll return to you. I'll return and fill that space in your heart

My new favorite quote...


Saturday, January 17, 2009


I've mentioned in a previous post that they say, when you have a dream about someone, it means that they have been thinking of you, or want to be with you.

I've been having dreams about Him lately. Maybe, he's been thinking about me.
If the saying about dreams is true, then he must have dreams about me every single night.

Yesterday, I went to the mall with Bria. I went in my Lolita dress, and i enjoyed it so much. I got some strange looks from others (because of the Gothic Lolita dress) but I loved it. After eating Japanese, we skipped over to the candy shop and bought each of us a lolipop. After that, we strolled into Sanrio Surprises (the Hello Kitty shop) and bought some adorable gothic pens, little sticker books, and pink stamps. Then, we stopped by the video game shop and played a bit of guitar hero.

It was a fun day. I felt like a gothic-victorian-doll in my lolita dress.


Tuesday, January 13, 2009

what is this?

It's been a long time since I've been so anxious to see when He will answer my message. It's a wierd feeling.


Saturday, January 10, 2009

Captive Hearts

I just bought volume two of this rather lovely Manga i'm reading called Captive Hearts. I'm almost done with it. Its rather romantic (and sort of silly at the same time, but that makes it even more lovely). It's basically about this man named Megumi who is under this ancient curse in which he is like a servent to Suzuka (a girl). The curse is that he treats her like his mistress whenevr they make direct eye contact. (wierd, haha) He begins to fall in love with her, but she does not want to make his life hard, so she tries to break the curse, but cannot find a way. So, that creates a wall between them. But either way, they're madly in love. So it's epic!

I drew a picture of Suzuka. It was a very pretty page in the book, so i drew it (I did not trace!!). I also bought volume two of We Were There. But I'll write more about that once i start to read it.

yes, I know I'm not an amazing artist, but its fun!

Friday, January 9, 2009

It occured to me today, Why do I like writing on this blog?

and I realized, because here on blogspot, we're all beautiful. we're all exactly who we want to be. We can write about normal things and make them sound so lovely because thats how we see life, and now others can as well.

We meet other's who feel the same way, and for once in our life, it's not about faces, or clothes, or schools we go to. It's about words. Word drained from our head into the text. We're all free.

On my blog, is my favorite music, my favorite places, books, quotes, so much!!! And this is who I am and for once people are seeing ME!

I just find that so beautiful.

Haha! another Random Rant. But anyway, It's how I feel.


Well, about jumping into life ((see previous post))

here is the 'Long Story'...

I wanted to try out for the "Charlie and The Chocolate Factory" play at school. but I was confused (and very stupid) and a bit scared. so I went home. When I got home, I told mom all about my good news, a project I got and A on (Yay!!) , and about my day.

then I told her about the play. and that drove her mad! She knows how much I want to be an Actress/Director and told me that I should've auditioned and that I shouldnt let life pass me by. So I felt rather bad about myself and she said "C'mon, Lets drive you back now!"

Of course I was quite late, and afraid that they wouldnt let me audition. But anyway, we picked up my brother, then drove qickly to my school.

Luckily, they let me in and I got to audition!!!! I wanted to audition for the part of Veruca (The snobby rich girl) but just for fun, I read for the part of Mrs. Gloop (The mom of the kid who eats far too much chocolate, she's German). Now, I have taken German before, so I know how to do the accent. The Drama Teacher said I was great!! And so did my friends.

When I tried out for Veruca, I did well, but I did Mrs. Gloop much better. So I'm 99.9% sure, that I am getting the part of Mrs. Gloop. It is a small part, but I do it so well, that I'm going to try my best to make that part shine!

I'm soooooo excited! Imagine if I hadn't taken that opportunity???



Wednesday, January 7, 2009

From this day forward, I will jump into life, and not let any opportunities pass me by...Life is far too short for regrets, right?

haha...long story



Tuesday, January 6, 2009


Lately, I have found Music to be life. Or at least, a very big part of it. It takes me to new places. Sometimes, I go on walks, just me, myself, and my music. My ipod is in my pocket and i forget where I am. All the lit up trees, and shiny sttreets after the rain, with my very own personal backround music, I'm really in a fairytale. When the song ends, so does the fairytale. But once a new song begins, it's a new fairytale, with a new theme, depending on the song. It's funny, sometimes I listen to slow, Passionate music, by Utada Hikaru, then I listen to fun, rock music like Fall Out Boy, then I'm listening, to Random, fun music like Kate Nash. I'm a drama-queen, filled with sooo many emotions, that I cannot figure myself out. Thats why I love music, It's meaningful, and It helps me figure myself out.