Sunday, December 28, 2008

Roller Coaster

I'm sad that Christmas is over. I'll miss it untill next year. But theres still the New Year. A new beginning!

Thank you sooooo much Sprinkle for the amazing Best Of Blogs Award. I'm really very happy!! You are really awesome!
I'm sending you many hugs and kisses xoxoxo <33333

Lately, I've been having thoughts. Like I'm understanding things better somehow. The type of thoughts that I've heard in books and movies, and I never quite understood. But now that I'm having them myself, I'm like "is this waht it feels like?" And yes, it is. I'm beginning to understand how life works, how people that I love, and miss terribly, are connected to me by the memories that we share, even thought they are inside our hearts, that they are stronger than any material object. How everything happens for a reason. And that God never gives you more than you can handle, which means that when I feel sad, or life is getting hard, I know that the strength is stored inside me. Like a beautiful gift-wrapped box, and I just carefully need to unwrap it and let all the strength out. That even in the darkest darkness, there is always light, even a bit. And if not, I need to use the light that's in my heart instead.

I used to hear that life was like a roller coaster ride. And now i get it. It's fast, and scary, and surprising, but so much fun. And recently I've found that I'm really not afraid of roller coasters anymore. These this growning up? I dont want to grow up. But this is not growing up, its Understanding, it's being human, it's life. Maybe, physically I'll grow up, but never emotionally. I'll always be the messy, curly-haired little girl. And I'll never, ever, ever, ever, want to clean up my room. (unless it gets a bit out of hand and I start getting frustrated because i cannot find a thing)

One of my random little rants. hehe, with all these type of thoughts, I feel like I need to break free. I'm a bit of a drama queen i must admit. haha. I want to run away from my small town, and go to London, or Tokyo. I would have crazy, random , and dangerous adventures. Then maybe I'd fall in love. And then him and I would have even more adventures together. And we'd have a wedding in a magical place. And I would become a famous director, like Tim Burton. And in my huge house, there would be gothic-antique furniture and an old library. And a garden only I knew of. And a giant walk-in closet with nothing but Lolita clothes. Ahhhh.....sooooo much I've dreamed of....

Well, I talk too much. So I'll let all of you lovelies go right now. Take care. And please don't let my thoughts get to you. Whenever I hear this stuff, then I think too much. haha, I never stop thinking!