It Feels So Good To Really Believe

In the end, all I really want...

is to know I changed a few people's lives
I think that is the most wonderful thing ever.

xoxo

Snowy Mountains

Yesterday I took A bubblebath. Usually when I take a bubblebath, the bubbles aren't fluffy and fill up the whole tub...but they did yesterday.
They looked like snowy white mountains, and I pretended to be a giant,
and they all belonged to me.
I took My ipod and speakers and hooked it up next to the tub, and listened to Laura Marling, Regina Spektor, Bright Eyes, and Train.
After I drained out the tub, I took all the leftover bubbles and gathered them in my hands and blew them all over the place, so the whole bathtub and curtains were full of small bits of bubbles.
Then I rinsed off in some cold water, and I tried to wash away every worry and bad thought, since I've had too many of those lately. The cold water felt amazing on my skin as I sang along to Hey Soul Sister. And for a little while, I felt very happy.
And very very alive.

You know when you think so much, and you just wish that you could turn off all your thoughts? When monsters chase you and you try to outrun them, but they're always right behind you.
I start to wonder all the time, When did things become complicated?
I think I'm going to take more bubblebaths, because no monsters can ever find me when I'm hiding beneath snowy mountains.

How do you hide from monsters?

xoxo

100

Wow...post number 100...
pretty amazing...

xoxo

It's been a while

I really want to start posting again.
And i will try my best :)

Oh, and by the way, I'm really sick of those comments that lead to porn websites. I don't have any comments besides those ones now. cut it out.
I'm not stupid enough to click on them.

xoxo

Remembering Sunday

It's strange how sad things can be so pretty at the same time...
bittersweet.

xoxo

Magic

I wanna hold magic in my hands.

I wanna fly away from all this and forget everyone and everything...and live in a world where I can breathe nothing but the clear, blue, sky.

Have you ever felt that? That feeling of longing...for all the things in your head to be as real as everything in front of you this very second....

Sometimes, I can feel it inside me, almost in my stomach, or in my heart.

I can sit there and daydream for hours while listening to beautiful music....but when I'm forced to come back to reality, It's one of the most terrible feelings.

Who says I have to stay in this reality? Who says that I can't keep my head in the clouds?

Who says I have to grow up? Why can't I stay this way forever?

Just believing in magic so much that I can almost touch it with my eager fingertips...

Yes. I think that's who I am, and always will be....and once I let go of the magic that I'm holding on so tightly to...that's when my life will start to end.

xoxo

I Feel Different

I think I'm starting to remember how it feels

to need something so much.

It's scary

and It's bittersweet

and it hurts...just a bit

But, it makes you feel so....

alive.

xoxo

Life's Too Short For Regrets

I think we should all try to keep this in mind.

In fact...I think I'll post this up on my wall...

xoxo

You.

xoxo

Breathing In a Summer Night

What is this? This strange feeling....of longing, and desire....?

A longing for soft summer nights, running and laughing so hard that your tummy feels sore...but you love it anyway.

A desire for a crtain someone, a certain smile that can send acid dripping through your stomach. Almost as if you feel sick....but in a good way.

What is this sudden urge to sit on a swing set all night, staring at the stars, and listening to music that touches the very deepest, and fragile part of your heart?

When everything starts to change...and evryone knows that soon it won't be this way anymore....that we all have to take seperate paths....why does it always feel like this?

Like, if you could go back and change anything...it would be the thing seperating us right now.

But deep down you know that it has to happen anyway.

but here and now, I'll make a promise:

Even if we're far away

Even if we don't laugh together, or see one another

Even if we turn into different people, like we all do as life goes on...

I promise, that I won't forget you

And a part of me knows that we will meet again

But for now....lets not think about that. Lets keep on laughing, and lets keep on being children,

where the sky belongs to us, and so does every star.

xoxo

Down The Rabbit Hole

Hello, It's been a while!

The past month of february has been a joyful one indeed....well, because of course it is the month I was born in ;)

haha, So I suppose I shall tell you how my birthday (feb. 8th) went?

FABULOUS is the one word I can think of! I had some close friends over and we saw movies, played with pink and blue balloons, ate cake, took photos, and ate chienese! fabulous indeed.

And yes, we bought spngebob masks from Party City ;)

BUT, that was only the weekend BEFORE my birthday.....the actual day was a monday. And my amazing Mommy ordered me a cake with my favorite thing on it...can you guess?


PIRATES! I got a pirate cake <3

I also got a new ipod......and last but not least......although this one came late from my grandparents.......It was fantastic....

The Art Of Tim Burton. I have been wanting that book for AGES! And it is gorgeous! To check out some of the art in the book go here:

http://www.timburton.com/


speaking of Tim Burton.......today is the day. What day you might ask? well, simply the day I've been waiting a year and a half for.....simply THEE best day ever.....


The opening day for Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland!!!


*happy dance* FINALLY! Me and my dear friend Bri will be seeing it together today. I will have to do a full blog post on it soon!!!


Now darlings, I must go eat dinner and such before Bri comes here to pick me up for this fabulous event, only a couple of hours before I'll be seeing the most amazing movie EVER!

(I've been using the word fabulous alot today...hmm)


Oh by the way....the soundtrack for this movie is fabulous (there I go again) it has all my faves:


Pete Wentz and Mark Hoppus
Owl City
Kerli
Tokio Hotel
The All American Rejects
NeverShoutNever
Metro Station
30H3!
All Time Low

AND a bunch more.......and all the songs are pretty cool so far...

what are you MOST excited about for the movie? And the soundtrack??

well, see ya soon! peace and Love <3

xoxo

Snow Days and Birthday Cakes

Hello, hope you've all been well!

This past week was interesting...it snowed last friday and we missed school on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I do Love the snow, and it's so magical as it falls....but I am not the type to stay in the house for five days...I can't stay in one place too long.






But when walking through the forest by my house while it's covered in a blanket of white... it felt like being in Narnia.

And it was beautiful.

My birthday's coming up soon.....this Monday I'll be 14. It feels strange....we're doing 'The Outsiders' for our play in advanced Drama. I don't know if you're familiar with the story, but it's mainly about two gangs, the Greasers and The Socs. And they fight over territory. The main character Ponyboy gets wrapped up in alotta trouble

Ponyboy's 14. And it makes me think about how he's the same age as me and he's getting wrapped up in murder, gang fights, and he has to run away from home too.

It's like when you watch movies, and you feel the main character is sooo much older than you and ony when you get to that age can things like that really happen to you. It's weird when you get to that age and everything is almost the same. It's even worse when you become older than the main character.

I dunno, maybe I'm the only person who thinks like this. Do any of you think like this too?

Well anyway, I've decided to focus on the birthday cake, chick flicks, and makeovers tonight. Fun!!

And as for music, I've fallen into an obsession with Laura Marling all over again

Something about her lyrics.....even when I don't quite understand them, I can somehow feel them.

"If you're born with a love for the wrote and the writ

People of letters your warning stands clear

Pay heed to your heart and not to your wit

Don't say in a letter what you can't in my ear "

xoxo

Dreams

It's funny when things suddenly change...or had I seen this coming for a while?

I wanna go back to the person I used to be, but I'm not even sure who that is anymore. Now I'm finding myself listening to music in the backseat of cars, staring at the dark violet sky, thinking of things that seem unreal

I'm starting to see how hollow everything is...and always was. The worlds I escape to when I'm away from school, and all the people in it, feels like the real world. Like the same dull classrooms I go to everyday is a dream and this is reality...

Reality is the crisp smell in the air after the rain. The feeling of running around in the grass at night, laughing, jumping, shouting, and feeling out of breath, but full of life.

Reality is the late nights, eating Ramen and watching old movies, talking about things that we can only talk about when we're alone.

Reality is pirates and vampires, long dresses and swing dances, Oceans and skies that never end.

or is it simply a dream....that will also fade? And soon I will find myself back in the gray skies and four dull walls of a school classroom?

Thats why I'll hold on to these dreams for as long as possible....and try so hard to keep it in in my grasp...because if I let go...

I don't know what I would do...

xoxo